Hearts Discovered
by nakuney
Summary: To many Shea Shepard is a hero without equal. But to Ashley Williams she is that and a lot more. She's a tempting conundrum, one Ashley is drawn to figuring out. This is the first fan fiction I have ever published. I am not entirely sure if it's any good. I wouldn't mind a beta in the future, if I continue to write.
1. Chapter 1

Hearts Discovered

Shea

Eden Prime was both the worst and best day of my life. The worst, because my sister's wife Liana and there baby was killed, and the best because that's where I first met Ashley Williams the woman who soon claimed my heart and maybe not her physically but she also claimed my body. All the new feelings and desires were a bit overwhelming. Quite a few times I had to lock myself up in my quarters once the council granted me Spectre status and I was given the Normandy to use in my hunt for Saren. Of course my sister Chey teased me when she found out my personal private time was me just masturbating. I was careful not to break my hymen as I pounded my hot, wet aching core as images of Ashley swam through my brain. In all my past experiences doing this, I never came as hard as I did even squirting a bit as I did when Ashley was my imaginary partner.

In the privacy of my bedroom, I was a tiger in the sack and oh so very commanding of my imaginary Ashley, but in reality I managed to string a few words together. Though whenever sex was mentioned or she touched me I would lamely say, "I should go." I could hardly keep the blush off my face. I prayed she didn't notice and if she had, well, she kept it to herself, for which I was immensely grateful. I do not think I could have handled that conversation. I mean how do you tell a girl you are seriously crushing on, but more than likely doesn't feel the same way. "I like you and I'm a 29 year old virgin." Yeah not going to happen. All these thoughts occurred before we final found Matriarch Benezia's daughter's dig site on Therum. I had no idea how I was going to manage the rest of this mission.

I hadn't expected to have to deal with overwhelming desire, especially not from a team member. My heart, mind, soul, and body had other plans. "Stupid hormones." I grumble as I gave myself my fifth orgasm in an hour. I needed the tension release before we stepped foot on Therum. If Ashley wasn't such a powerhouse I wouldn't take her as much, therefore saving myself the distraction, that she is to me. It took me awhile but I had managed to stay focused during fights it was the walking around that made it more difficult if I had been my sister, I think I would have been hard 24 hours a day. I was very grateful that I didn't have a penis like her. It made hiding my arousal much easier.

Therum was a breath of fresh air so far, at least from the lust that seemed to never end. Between driving the Mako, shooting Geth armatures, and other Geth my mind had no time to wander to the sexy siren sitting next to me. Then we had to stop and I couldn't take the mako any further. Thankfully there was still plenty of Geth to kill. Especially the armature Chey, Tali, Ashley, and I had to take out on foot. After that exhausting battle we had to take a breather. I was keeping my eyes on our surroundings just in case. As if by their on will my eyes land on Ashley's ass as she is leaning over a crate. This is when I did wish I had a penis. I could bury myself deep in her perfectly with that angle. I gulped and tore my eyes away from her.

"Problems Shea?" Chey says I glare at her. I hear Tali snicker. " Enjoyed the view did you?" Tali adds. "Just you wait Tali, when you find someone who makes you feel like I do when it comes to her, I will show you no mercy with my teasing. "Ha! That's not likely to happen. I doubt that is going to happen anytime soon or around you." She says. "Uh huh, famous last words Tali." I tease back. My eyes find her again. "Take a picture. It will last longer." Chey says. "You both are evil women." I said as a retort. They both laugh. I glare at them again, and walk up to Ashley, I can't keep staring at her ass. We need to move. "By all that is holy please God give me something to shoot." I silently pray.


	2. Chapter 2

Ashley

My mind wanders to yet again to Shepard, she hardly ever seems to escape my thoughts. I look back over my shoulder and I can see Chey and Tali teasing her about what I couldn't say. I do notice she seems completely fine with Tali when she touches her, but yet when I do in any way. She tenses and says I should go. Chey never told me why Shepard was uncomfortable when I touched or why when anything remotely sexual even kissing turns her as red as a tomato. She said, "It isn't place or business to share that you would have to ask Shea." I would but the only problem with that is she does everything she possibly can to make sure we're never actually completely alone. I didn't want to ask in front of the rest of the crew as curious as I was, embarrassing my crush was not on my agenda. She remains a fascinating and delicious conundrum, and it absolutely nettled me. Armistice Day coming up maybe I can get her to agree to having a drink with me and then ask her about her peculiar, yet endearing behavior.

"Fuck it was hot." I thought and the image of Shea in naught but a tank top and underwear sweating on hot summer day popped into my head. I closed m eyes and let the image take over. A bead of sweat would roll down her body and I would lick my lips, just so I could taste her even if it was sweat. "Hey Ash, how you doing are you ready to go again?" she asks. It's such an innocent question, yet my mind paints a different picture of us in a bed basking in the after shocks of fantastic sex. She asks me again in my day dream and it is far from innocent. "Ash?" I shake my head. "Sorry Shepard. The heat might be getting to me. Let's get this show on the road." I smile at her she nods her head and we follow her into the dig site.

A feminine voice reached our eyes as we landed on the lower level. "Dr. Liar T'Soni?" Shepard asks. "Yes." She replies. "I'm Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy." I loved how even though she was granted SPECTRE status she never flaunted it. When she introduced herself to various people we had already met on this mission, it was always Commander Shepard, and never SPECTRE Shepard. Her humility was just another thing about her I loved. "Oh, my God I am in love with her." I realized. It wasn't just the small things I loved it was her whole package. Even her curiosity and friendliness to aliens, though at times I felt jealous when they could touch her and she wouldn't flinch or run away. I still had no idea about her preferences, but the thought of anyone touching her the way I longed to set me into a tizzy. Which added to my already flustered state. She wasn't mine. She had every right to find comfort in another. I wanted her to be mine though, but it was against regulations.

So for now, I could only surreptitiously glance her way, and admire her from afar. Chey nudged me out of my thoughts. I shook my head again, and then I saw the Asari Liara T'Soni and more jealousy surged through me. She was beautiful and well endowed, Shea looked absolutely enthralled by her.


	3. Chapter 3

Shea

I had never seen an Asari with eyebrows before, of course I knew they were just tattoos, but still they were fascinating. "Remain calm we'll get you out. Everyone spread out look for a way through. If you sight the enemy give a shout. " I order we split up quickly enough. I think 5 minutes pass and I here gunfire from the direction Chey was in. "If she keeps this up she will be sitting the rest of the mission. I get that she lost her wife and baby, but seriously what about mom and me. Didn't it matter to her, how we would feel if we lost her too. We grew up with Liana, long before Chey and her got together we loved as if she was born to our family. Did she not get that if we lost her too it would completely break us." Then I grew angry at myself. It wasn't about us, Chey lost her first and only love to this date, and she lost three babies including the one that Liana had been pregnant with when she was killed. Chey probably felt like she didn't deserve to be happy, to be in love, or to be a parent. A lot her feelings stemmed from Akuze.

I remembered Chey was a complete wreck after that, but who wouldn't be if they watched their whole team die, painfully and gruesomely. Liana was the one who brought her out of that never ending nightmare. She gave her love and hope for the future, and Chey accepted the gifts Liana gave her and cherished them. Only to have them ripped way from her. So I could see how she would feel worthless and didn't deserve to live. It needed to stop though, everyone else had to watch her six which could leave them open. All it took was one lucky shot. This will be the last warning, but it would have to wait until we were all onboard again. I walked into Tali, not even knowing she stopped Ashley came around the crate with Chey in tow. "Yeah, she's pissed too. Your going to get quite the earful later missy." I said to myself as I looked at Chey. "Did you find something Tali?" I ask.

Her mind and line of vision seem to be elsewhere. "Huh? Oh… umm.. no I haven't found anything to get us through yet." She twists her hands around each other, which I had learned was a nervous habit. She really isn't paying attention. I follow her line of sight with my eyes and leads back to where Dr. T'Soni was suspended in air. I grin mischievously. "What's the matter Tali asari got your tongue?" I tease she faces me her hand covers her face plate. "Oh no." she says. "Oh yes. Now I have some ammunition against you." I chuckle evilly. "I hate you." She says. "Lies, lies all lies. You love me. But you luurve Dr. T'Soni." I tease. "Keelah. Kill me now please." She groans. I pat her shoulder. " Awww. Poor lil sis Tali. Love sucks huh?" I said. She punches my shoulder I feign pain. "I don't love her. I don't even know here, but I really want to." She say breathily. "Ah welcome to a little thing I call frustration pass." I said.

"Hey Shea! I found a way through, but we'll need Tali!" Chey shouts. I head into her and Ashley's direction pulling Tali behind me. She shakes her head looks once more in the direction of the good Dr. "It's a mining laser, it would get the job done. I just need to hack it and set it off." She says. "Good. Focus Tali and get it done. The sooner it's done the sooner T'Soni is free. " I said. Chey nudges me and I stand near them. "What's all that about?" Ashley asks, I'm not sure but she sounds slightly jealous. I really didn't know why though. I whispered to them both quietly. "It would seem our little Quarian has been bitten by the bug called attraction." I said. "Really?" Chey asks. "Yep our little sister is growing up so fast. I'm just so proud of her." I say with those teasing fake tears.

"So I guess, she is wanting to embrace eternity with the Dr." Ash says. "Well first they gotta actually go out and be all lovey dovey. Now I'm curious about how Quarian's and Asari get it on." Chey says. I feel my face burning. "I should go." I said and jog away from them back to Tali's side. "How is it coming?" I ask. "Almost there." She looks at me and can see how red my face is. "Sex stuff talk?" she asks. I nod.

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 **A/N**

 **I got the idea to switch point of views from Raven Sinead and Grace Kay. You should definitely check out their stories. They're always my favorites. Also from now on I'm going to make each chapter with both of Shea and Ashley's point of view. To facilitate easier posting. Read and Review tell me what you like or what you don't like.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N So obviously the characters are a bit OOC, it's fanfiction it's allowed. Also all characters and main events belong to Bio ware. I just like to take them off the shelf, dust them off and play with him. Here's chapter 4. I hope you enjoy read and review. Nakuney**

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Ashley

"Why does she do that?" I ask Chey again. "What sex talk makes her nervous, it's fun to embarrass her. I can get her back for all the times she teased and embarrassed me." She replies. "Has she always been this prudish?" I ask. "No. This is more of recent development. But it sure is fun." She says. "Why though? And why is she okay with every other person touching her, but when I do she freaks out?" I ask. "Perhaps she can sense the not so innocent motive behind your touches. Though she doesn't seem to pick it up from Kaidan. Like I said before you'd have to ask her." She says. "How? She runs away like scared bunny rabbit if we are even remotely alone?" I ask. She shrugs. " I couldn't tell you." She replies, I groan in frustration. "You are absolutely no help." I comment to her. "I know." She replies simply.

"Got It!" Tali exclaims and pushes the button to fire the laser. The ground shakes a bit, but we have a path now. We approach her from behind and I can see Tali has a lingering gaze that I often have towards Shepard. "Yeah, she's got it bad." I silently comment. A smile crosses my face. Finally someone else is going through the same thing as me. My smile falters remembering Chey's comment about Kaidan. Then I think back to any instance where I should have noticed Kaidan's attraction to Shepard. I face palmed myself. "I can't believe I missed all those signs." I think. Then I get angry and jealous, I don't like Kaidan touching her even more now. Something has to be done, these feelings and attractions were becoming a distraction and a problem. Maybe, instead of asking her why she freaks out like she does, I'll just lay it all out on the table and hopefully we can move past this awkwardness.

"What would they want with me?" T'Soni asks. "Think fast miss Prothean expert." I said snarkier then it sounded in my head. I wasn't even sure what was being said, something about the Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. I was definitely going to have to address these issues with Shepard. The ground and walls shake and rumble. "I think the mining laser may have caused these ruins to start collapsing. We need to get out of here." T'Soni says. "Joker get her up and running we may need an emergency evac." Shea orders. "So how do we get out of here?" Chey asks. "There is an elevator right this way." T'Soni says. We follow her and go up the elevator. Shortly afterwards a Krogan battle master and three Geth challenge us. "Just give us the Dr." I feel a stab of jealousy as T'Soni gets much closer to Shepard then I care for. "She'll stay with us thanks." Shepard replies.

"We came for her alive or dead it doesn't really matter." The Krogan says. "Do you not realize this place is coming down around us." Shepard states. "Exhilarating isn't it." He says. " I'll give you exhilaration." Chey challenges. We know what's coming next she charges guns blazing straight for the Krogan he chuckles with glee. "Totally need to have a sit down with Chey too as well." I remind myself. The Krogan lasts all of five minutes against Chey as she jumps up and stabs him in the neck with the bayonet she added to her assault rifle. The blade breaks of in his think neck, but never the less he still dies. Then we are running from the collapsing ruins. T'Soni and Tali are a bit too slow, so Shea grabs Tali, puts her over shoulder and Chey does the same for T'Soni. Even with the added weight they run fast, not faster then me at this time. I marvel at the strength the Shepard siblings have with in them. I also really wish it was me over Shea's shoulder and that she was running to take me to her cave and claim me.

We escape just in time and after Tali and T'Soni are placed on their feet the Shepard sibling hunch over and attempt to suck in air. "Everyone ok?" Shea asks. ''All good Shepard." We say. On board the ship we go to thee conference room and discuss our next stop which would be Feros. T'Soni sways when she stands up she is very light headed. "When was the last time you slept or ate?" Kaidan asks. "I'm not really sure." She replies. "Chey, escort her to Dr. Chakwas to get looked at." Shea orders. "Come on Doc." She says. "Relax Dr. Chakwas is the best. She'll take good care of you. I promise." Shea says.

Shea

" Shepard the council is on the line. Should I patch them through?" Joker asks. "Yes, and Joker thanks for the save." I tell him. "Anytime Shea." He says. I straighten my clothes and push the connect button. "Here we go." I think. After 20 minutes of them questioning my every decision we disconnect. "Well, that went as well as expected." I comment. I leave the conference room and head to med bay, my head hurts and I wanted to check on everyone. "Hi Aunt Karin." I greet her and sit on one of the medical beds. "Headache?" she asks. "Yep, and made so much worse by the council's tongue lashing. You know I wonder if the other Spectre's have the same issues with them, or if it's just me." I tell her. "Both are possibilities." She says. "How's the newest member of our merry little band?" I ask. "Exhausted. I made her drink some water and eat a little bit. I set her up in the room over there. I am pleased to report she is resting comfortably." She says. "Good. I'll come by later and check up on her. To look over Chey?" I ask.

"I did, she overextended her shoulder a bit, but it's nothing a hot shower and a night of sleep won't fix. She headed back to your cabin as soon as she left here. Tali and Ashley are fine too. Though both of them seem to be distracted and deep in thought." She says. "I'll go check on them after I check on Chey. Aunt Karin, I am very worried about her. She just keeps recklessly throwing herself into fights. Ashley and I have both spoken to her about it, but it just seems like we can't reach her." I confess. " I know what you mean. I have spoken to her about it too, and she just gives me that look that she heard me, but wasn't really hearing me. We may have to get an intervention together, maybe if everyone who knows her voices their concern with her current attitude she might actually listen." Aunt Karin says. "I'll talk to her again, and warn her that if she does it again I would restrict her to the ship and only let her roam when there isn't likely to be a fight." I reply. "So never then." She says. "It does feel like that. Everywhere we go, it always seems to end in a fire fight." I admit.

I excuse myself and go straight to my quarters. Chey is sitting on the bed and typing on her data pad. "Hey Chey, what are you doing?" I ask. "Writing the newest installment in our little adventure. What's up? You have that we need to talk face again." She says. "You know what I am here to talk to you about." I start. "Fuck. Here we go again." She says. "Yes here we go again. This is your absolutely last warning. Your reckless behavior is endangering the team and our mission. If you don't put a stopper on your kamikaze mission, I will restrict you to this ship. For however long I deem necessary, and you will start to have weekly counseling sessions. Are we clear?" I said. "Crystal." And she returns to her data pad. I growl and stomp out of the room. I speak to Joker briefly, then Kaidan, then I head down to the cargo bay. I don't see Ashley right away. So I stop and speak to Wrex then Garrus, then I head to engineering and speak to Tali. Everything is working well, and so I dismiss myself and leave engineering. The familiar heart racing and breathtaking moment I see Ashley occurs. I sigh and head in her direction.

"Hey got a minute?" I ask. "Yeah, but only a few. I need to get to work on the weapons and armor maintenance." She says. I ask her about her thoughts on the last mission as I do everyone else. "I'm not sure what to make of the doc's words. Can we really trust that she isn't in league with her mom and Saren. I've seen dysfunctional families, but to not speak to your own mother for so long. It just seems a bit unbelievable." She says. "I am pretty good about telling when people are lying, and I believe her. One time, I refused to speak to mom for a couple months because she wouldn't let me go with Dad on the ship he was assigned to. It was only later that we found out he had died, that I understood her reasons." I reply.


	5. Chapter 5

Ashley

"Another time Chey refused to speak to our mom until she went through basic, because mom strongly objected to her joining the Alliance. Granted it wasn't years, but it can happen." She finishes proving her point. We talk a bit more and once gain she tenses when I jokingly say we should ask Liara about asari sex. "I should go. I have reports to file." She says and like usual she bolts away. " Something was definitely up she hates filing reports and usually has Chey do it. She had told me that herself. " I thought. I really should confront her about this behavior. I return to my station and begin my usual cleaning duties. "I'll talk to her the next time she comes down." I decided. No more waiting or hesitating, this needs to be put to rest. I do not get the chance to speak to her for awhile, she avoids me for the next 2 weeks as she takes out a few Geth outposts. I wish she would have let me go, but she didn't and Chey was not asked to go either. I noticed in that time that both Shepards and Tali went to speak to Liara a lot. Rumors started to spread that they were both vying for her attention, just the Shepard siblings not Tali. They seemed to think she was too innocent for such things and was merely curious about Asari in general. Quarians don't really meet a lot of other species, at least until they go on their pilgrimage.

Frustratingly enough Liara and Tali were always asked to go groundside and either Wrex, Kaidan or Garrus accompanied them. Chey could care less if she went but it really ground my gears. I can understand why Chey was left on the ship she was a loaded cannon and seemed to be apathetic to whether or not she lived. It was disheartening how everyone who tried to reach her couldn't. At first I thought I couldn't reach her because she blamed me, but she insisted she blamed no one but Saren. She didn't even blame herself anymore. I had seen Kaidan, Tali, Karin, and even Garrus try to reach her but to no avail and Wrex seemed to love and respect her Krogan like battle lust. He might think differently if he knew that her battle lust was less about the fighting and more about the lack of interest in living. The only reason she just didn't toss her gun away is because she wanted Saren to pay first.

I had heard they destroyed the last of the outposts, which was awesome. Tali was bouncing with joy after she returned. I waved her over. "What's got you in such a good mood did you get a kiss from your fair maiden?" I ask in a teasing tone. "I wish. Liara seems more interested in the Shepard sisters right now. No Shea just gave me a copy of some data that would make an excellent pilgrimage gift. It so awesome that any ship would be clamoring for me to join their crew and I know my father will be impressed and super proud." She says excitedly. "That's really great Tali! I'm happy for you, I really am." I said. "But you are wondering why you keep getting stuck on the ship?" she asks. "Very astute. Yes it's been really driving me crazy." I said. "Ashley, Shea is just testing the waters with different teams, figuring out how well we work together. Different teams are needed for different conditions." She explains. "That is actually very logical, I would do the same, but still.." she places a hand on my shoulder. "You love her, and want to fight by her side literally." She says. I nod and for once I allow an alien to hug me. We chat for a little longer about the women we love and how maddening it is that we can't say anything for various reasons. The elevator dings and the very object of my affection we were just talking about walks over towards me. Tali waves at her and says good bye and returns to her post. "You seem to have adjusted well to our unconventional crew. Listen I'm sorry about not coming to see you more. I have just been swamped with reports. Chey's apathetic behavior is getting worse, and she just won't listen." She says. "And your too busy talking to your little blue friend." I say snidely. "You go to med bay everyday and are there for hours, and scuttlebutt has it Liara is into you." I keep going. Her eyebrows raise.

Shea

I do not get where this is coming from. I want to interject and figure this out, but it seems I can't get a word in edgewise. "I get it though she is a female form of beauty and she's not Alliance so it's not against regs." Now I am pissed and I don't care if it's rude. "You think I'm interested in her because she's the only person I can date?" I said, her eyes light up with fury. "So you admit you're interested in her. What if you put the mission in jeopardy because of your emotional entanglement." She says and now I feel even angrier. "Williams you are bordering on insubordination! I am the Commander of this ship, and if I need to speak to one crew members more then others then that is my business!" I shout at her. She is taken aback I have never yelled at her before. "Yes ma'am. You tell me to jump I'll ask how high. You tell me to kiss a Turian I'll ask which cheek." She says. This is not what I had come down her for. "With all due respect ma'am, I spoke out of line." She says. She turns away from me.

"Ash." She ignores me. "Please don't make me order you to look at me." I said and she sighs and turns to face me. "Ashley, I am aware of Liara's attraction to me and I have already told her that I just wanted to be friends. Everything I do is for this fucking mission. I know emotional entanglements can negatively effect teams and missions. This mission is always in my mind, and I fucking hate it. I go to med bay everyday, because Liara is trying to look up leads where her mother and Saren might be, what her mother's motives could be. I talk to Liara every couple of days and it's always briefly. The rest of my time there is spent trying control and ease these fucking migraines that I get because of the vision from that beacon on Eden Prime." Her features soften. "If you know about how feelings and emotional entanglements can effect the mission, why are you touchy feely with everyone?" she asks. I think I get it now. "Not with everyone." I said. "Not with me your not." She says. "No, I'm not." I reply. "Why?" she asks.

"Because their touches never do to me what yours do Ash. When you touch me, my whole body sings, my heart races, sets my blood on fire but in a good way, and it steals my breath. That is why I try not to touch you or let your touch linger as much as my heart longs for them too. These feelings I have for you overwhelm me, and I worry that they will get in the way of our mission." I admit. "I feel the same way about you and confusion." She says. "Why confusion?" we step a little closer. " Whenever something intimate or sexual is mentioned it doesn't matter from who you bolt like a skittish cat. I can't figure out why and Chey won't tell me." She says my face turns red. "Are you going to run again?" she asks in a soft tone I had never heard before. I shake my head and lean into her ear and whisper. "Sexual and relationship stuff makes me nervous." She breathes in deeply. "It does that because I have absolutely no experience in either thing." I add. She looks at me and her eyes widen. "You've never.." I shake my head. "I never had an inkling of desire for either things until I met you." I confess.

"Shea we just reached Feros." Joker says, "Suit up Ash. You, Chey, Liara, and I are going groundside." I walk away from her stunned and red face. I know I have this great big grin on my face. "She likes me too." I say to Chey. "About damn time you found that out." Chey says with a grin on her face. "Oh my God are you actually smiling. Is the world ending?" I tease. "Not yet. I'm happy for you and I am absolutely ecstatic to get off this tin can." She says. "Don't you insult the Normandy like that." I said. "Alright, she is a beautiful ship. I just need to stretch my legs." She says. "You didn't seem to mind before." I said. "True, but that's because I knew that you were trying to figure out how well everyone works together and what teams would suited for certain mission. I also think you were trying to get Liara and Tali more at ease with each other and their feelings that are burgeoning. Now please can we go."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I would just like to take a moment to say Thank you to those following this story. Bio ware owns Mass Effect. Since I am now stuck at work till god knows when. I have decided that I would post the rest of this story. I do have a sequel written, actually wrote that first, but for some reason my muse demanded that I write a prequel, then it turned into a trilogy. The sequel is called "Melting Hearts" and it's at least twice as long. So I am continuing with chapter six and will not be stopping until either I am relieved at work or the story is completely posted. "HOOYAH!" Boys and Girls on with the show.**

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Ashley

I was on cloud nine, she didn't exactly say it but Shea loves me too. I smiled because one we like each other and two I finally understood her behavior. I laughed on the inside because Kaidan had no chance. Then my smile faltered there were still regs to consider. Shea and I would have to discuss our feelings further, maybe once Saren was brought to justice we could explore our feelings more and I would definitely be asking for a transfer of command not because Shea wasn't capable, but because I never wanted to be with someone more then I did her. I needed to tell Sarah about this development as soon as we got back. We docked and disembarked a colonist met us. "Thank God you here the Geth are everywhere." As if his point was meant to be proven he is shot down by them. We scrambled for cover and began to fire on them. I had to admit Liara's biotics were impressive and very beneficial. It was easier to see her in a different light now that I knew Shea had turned her down, I felt slightly bad for her too. I'm sure she would find someone, both Chey and Tali still seemed interested, and she is very beautiful for an alien.

We continued on to the colony, shooting every geth and yes even some Krogans in our path. Chey seemed to control her kamikaze urges. So apparently someone was able to reach her. Liara and her stood close to each other as Shea and I continued further into the colony. I started liking and respecting . Liara more. Chey seemed happier around her, and if she could take the walls Chey erected down, much respect. Though I felt some concern again, but this time it was for Liara. "I hope Chey isn't planning on using Liara as a rebound." I said to Shea quietly. She looked at the pair and smiled. "Shepard, you aren't encouraging her to do that are you. That isn't really fair to Liara." I said. "Oh so now you care, an hour ago you seemed ready to break her neck." She teases. "Or yours. I was jealous okay, but still Liara deserves better." I said. "We're working on it." I arch an eyebrow. "Yes Chey likes her, but not in that way. In fact she confessed to me that not once has she felt attraction or sexual desire, not even when she was thinking about Liana. She feels empty inside." She tells me.

"So is she the we you are referring to?" I ask. "Yes. Chey and I are trying to get Tali and Liara to be less awkward around each other. They're worse then I was around you." She admits. "Was?" I ask. "I don't know, ever since I confessed my feeling for you, I feel.. I guess more at ease. Though I think you having feelings for me adds to it, and I do want to discuss this more with you, but later. We have Geth to kill." She says. "Lead on Skipper." I said. "Skipper?" she shrugs. "It'll do. For now. Though Shea is good too." I smile. "We'll see. If you play your cards right?" I wink at her and she blushes crimson. "This will be way more fun now." I think. I did not like this colony, the more we explored it the more It gave me the heebie jeebies. They were hiding something I could feel it in my bones.

I didn't think I could love Shea anymore, but she proved me wrong, even though she knew where we needed to go she took time out of her mission to help the colonists. She restarted their water supply, found an energy cell for the colonies generator, killed the alpha Varren so it would be easier for them to hunt, and she turned off the Geth signal. She even tried to help a man in the tunnels, which that guy further proved something was wrong with this colony. After she spoke to Fai Dan the leader of the colonists one last time to see if they needed anything else we were headed to ExoGeni laboratory to finally put and end to the geth threat o Feros. We still needed to find out why Saren came here, hopefully the lab would answer that question. She heard chatter over the radio and once the area was clear she went into this underground bunker and we found survivors from the lab. She agreed to look for a woman's daughter and copy some files for an employee that he needed. Shea had a big heart.

Shea

I found I had a clearer head now that things were in the open with Ash. I was thrilled that my sister was not being so reckless anymore. Ashley and Liara were getting along great, and I felt that despite the constant Geth attacks and that one guy, who I can't even remember his name's asshole attitude that things were starting to come together. I had found Juliana Baynham's daughter Lizbeth and she gave me a card which made it easier to enter the building. So my relatively good day continued until I found out ExoGeni was using the Zhu's Hope colonists as lab rats. The only good thing from learning that was it gave me an idea of what Saren might have been looking for, maybe. Geth dropship down and that guys files in hand as well as a couple of messages about something I may want to check out we head back down the skyway and back to colony and the Thorian, whatever that was, which was probably what Saren wanted. We hear a commotion on the radio and it was an argument between Juliana and Jeong the asshole who's name I couldn't remember from before. Lizbeth begs us to stop, as soon as we do she runs off. I roll my eyes shrug my shoulders and my team and I follow her.

I talk Jeong down from killing everyone and repurposing the colony. I give the mother and daughter time to reconnect and give the guy the data he wanted. "There has to be a way to get to the Thorian without killing the colonists." Chey says. "I have an idea, we made a gas that knocks those under the Thorian's influence unconscious, you could repurpose your grenades with the gas. They'll have headaches when they wake up but they'll be alive." Lizbeth says. "If I can save innocent lives, I'm all for it." I reply they hand me the chemicals and I upgrade all of our grenades that we are carrying. We leave and continue forward. Before we got to the garage we were attacked by husk like things, only green and toxic. I pray to God that my aim be true and I don't end up killing the innocent colonists, but of course my prayer goes unanswered. Halfway through the main part of the colony we completely run out of grenades. Everyone takes cover and holds there fire. I keep thinking I'm going to have to kill them. Chey disagrees.

"I have and idea, but it's a bit crazy, and you probably won't like it." She said. "Out with it." I order. "Well, with the creepers throughout the colony, there could be stray bullets. So if one of us lures them to the rest we can take the creepers out." She says. "Okay and the colonists?" I ask. "Well, that might be the craziest part, we'd have to get really close and knock them out ourselves." She says. " That is too dangerous, it's practically a suicide run." I said. "What other choice do we have?" She asks. "None other then killing them, but whoever does the knocking out will have to be really fast and I don't think any of us are." I said. "Not necessarily, I'm a lot faster then you think, especially if I'm armor free." She says. I want to believe it's because she wants to save the colonists but she has that glint in her eyes. The glint that tells me she is in Kamikaze mode. "Chey." I warn. "I'm sorry Shea." She apologizes and runs into the colony.

My heart clenches when the first bullet rips through her armor, it hits her shoulder but she doesn't stop, she knocks them out. We're to busy shooting the creepers, I want to scream when I see another bullet rip through the left leg of her armor. The last group is knocked out quicker, Liara was able to put a barrier around her before the bullets could completely got through her shields and turn her into swiss cheese. I contact Joker and have Kaidan replace her on the squad. "She is not to leave the medical bay until I speak to her. Aunt Karin we'll do an intervention when we're done here. Have Garrus, Wrex and Tali guard that door. She is in big trouble." I issue the orders. "Let's get this fucking over with. I have a sister to maim and kill when we get back. Form up and move out!" I growl. No one says a word which is probably wise at this point. I can barely contain the rage coursing through me.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Thank you again to everyone who takes the time to read my story.**

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Ashley

The anger from our argument paled in comparison to the terrifying, seething rage that I could tell coursed through her right now. The whole squad could feel it and none of us spoke unless she spoke to us first. I was dead wrong to think Chey had mellowed out, she fooled us all really well, even her sister who knew her better then anyone here. If you hadn't been there to witness their interaction, one would think Chey was being selflessly brave, foolish but brave. One could think when she ran at that armature on Therum she was being noble and trying to save a friend. Perception was a strange thing, and we recognized her actions for what they were selfish and destructive. We all thought she would stubbornly survive until Saren met her justice, but even the strongest have a breaking point. Perhaps rescuing Lizbeth and reuniting her with her mother was the catalyst to her breaking point. Her wife and child would never get the chance to do see each other, they would never get to learn of each other and Jr. would never get to meet Chey. Chey would never be able to hold her wife again, she would never get the chance to hold her child. Everyone has their breaking point, and Shea was at hers.

Shea was a tornado of death to all the enemies in her path. The enemies fell quickly at her hands and when her gun overheated she would kill them with her bare hands. She didn't even care that her body was covered in toxic goo from the creepers. Once the Thorian died, she calmed down a little and I was the only one who dared to go near her, I handed her my canteen and she washed the green blood off of her. "Thanks Ash. Sorry about going postal just now." She said to me. I rubbed her back. "Apologies are not needed. We understand why." I reassure her. She has calmed enough to speak civilly to the Asari that was spat out after the Thorian died. We learned that Saren was after the Thorian's knowledge and that she was traded for it's knowledge about the cipher to help make sense of the visions from the beacon. She offered what she learned but to give it she would have to meld with Shea.

I didn't like it one bit as the Asari Shiala grabbed Shea's hand and the way she spoke to her in that sensual tone. I wanted to fucking shoot her. Liara stayed my hand and Kaidan was immersed in what was happening between them. The meld was shallow and the black eyes disconcerting and it was quick, but it didn't make me like it any more. Shea of course let her go. After we learned that it was actually Saren's ship Sovereign that controlled everyone's mind, including Saren's and Benezia's. We left the colony and after Shea saw Chey was in a medically induced sleep she called a meeting. Once again I felt a stab of jealousy as Liara melded with her to try and help her make sense of the visions if she could. She was not successful either, even with the cipher. "Dismissed, we'll reconvene in the mess once Dr. Chakwas is done with Chey. When she gives us the go ahead we're going to do an intervention with her." She orders. "The council is checking in." Joker says.

"Go ahead and connect us. I'll contact you just before the intervention, I want you to be there too." I order. "Yes, ma'am." He says. They do not like that she killed the Thorian and get on her case about helping every human colony she comes across. "I help whoever needs help." She defends. "Now about your sister. She is a loose cannon and dangerous. Her self destructive behavior.." the Turian said she interrupts him. "Will be dealt with, as I see fit." she said. "Yes well it maybe a good idea to get her off the ship and into a mental ward." The Turian adds. "My crew, my decision." I listen to her speak. The council is seriously pissing me off "You can't let your personal feelings effect your mission." He just keeps on going. "My sister's wife and unborn child were murdered and she held her bloody corpse in her arms, I will not send my sister to deal with strangers." They are really riling her up, and I hate them all the more for it. Shea deserves better. The council is a bunch of damn cowards.

Shea

"I assure you if this intervention doesn't work, I will be contacting our mother to remove her. I will not abandon my sister. Would any of you abandon your sibling or mate if they were in her shoes." I said. They say nothing. " If any of your mates met the same end as my sister's, would you be fine." I said. They still don't say anything. "My mind is always on the mission, and I'm not going to let anything jeopardize it not even you. My ship, my rules, my mission." For the first time but not the last I disconnect from the still stunned council. I lean heavily against the console. Warm arms wrap around my waist. I inhale her vanilla scent. I put my arms over hers and squeeze it to myself. I feel a peck on my shoulder. I turn to Ashley and embrace her again. I want to kiss her but I know we can't. I'm not sure about the regs concerning a relationship between us. I'm technically not part of the Alliance, so I don't know if having an us right now is okay. I would call Anderson later. I kiss the top of her head. "After we stop Saren, I want to explore what we could have more." She says. "After Saren then." I agree.

I immediately hated it when we had to separate. Duty calls though, and I hate that too. I check in with Aunt Karin and see she is still pulling bullet fragments from Chey, so I start my rounds which was fairly easy considering everyone was in the mess hall. Kaidan was the furthest away and currently not paying attention so I decide to come back to him later, he was still reading his data pad when I stopped in front of him. "Kaidan, do you have a minute to talk?" I ask. "Of course I do. I've been wanting to talk to you since we left Feros." He says. "You first, what's on your mind?" I ask him. "Stop me if I'm out of line but you and Ashley seem to have gotten closer. Are you and her.." I shake my head. "No we aren't together. We decided to wait until after this Saren business is done." I said.

"Oh. Okay." He says sadly. Then it hits me he may have misinterpreted my friendliness for interest. "Oh Kaidan. I'm so sorry. I unintentionally led you on." I said. "It's my fault. I have never had a CO who was friendly like you. I mistook it for an attraction. I didn't know you preferred women." He says. "Yes and no. I don't really have a preference. Gender and race have never really factored in." I said. "Then why Ashley?" he asks. " The heart wants it wants. For whatever reason, it has chosen Ashley. I love her Kaidan. Everything she is I love. Her gentle and romantic heart, her Williams pride, her mind, her body and her soul. I love them all. It's like this growing up, I never wanted or felt the need for a relationship, intimacy, or sex. When we met Ashley on Eden Prime and I was standing next to her all those things I never wanted, she changed it just by being near her. I wanted them, but only with her." I try to explain.

" She is the other half of your soul. Your hearts speak to each other." He simplified it. I nod. "So it was fate. Was it the same for Chey?" he asks. "Not to the same degree. Growing up she went through all the normal hormones of her peers, but she hadn't really found the one she wanted to be with. She had crushes like everyone else, her longest crush was Liana, but nothing really came of it until after Akuze. Chey was husk of a person afterwards and would often get lost in darker thoughts, only Liana could ever bring her out of it, of course we all tried, but Liana was the only one who could ever reach her. So naturally one thing led to another. Chey loved Liana very much, she was the beacon of light that guided her home. I loved Liana as a sister, but I don't think she was her other half. Her whole being didn't ache with just the thought of being with her, like mine does for Ash." He sighs.

"Stay strong Kaidan, one day you'll find your other half, don't give up." I said. "I won't. Still friends?" he asks. He holds out his hand and I just wrap him up in a hug. "Always." Her hugged back. I could feel my back burning like someone was staring at it with laser beams. He lets go and steps away. "Your soon to be woman is scary. I think I'll be sleeping with one eye open for the rest of my life." He says with a smile.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Several F Bombs coming your way. I apologize if my crass language offends you.**

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Ashley

I glare lasers at my love's back as she allows Kaidan to hold her tightly, I hear the word 'always' in barely a whisper. I feel pissed is she leading us both on, because that is totally not okay. Had she said the same words to him about how much she liked him. As if they both sense my anger, Kaidan lets go. Shea walks around to the elevators and grabs me on the way, I lean against the wall in a very stand offish mood. I remain glaring daggers at her. "What the fuck was that all about Ash?" she asks. "You tell me, miss let's get all up ons with everyone." I said. "Seriously Ash. Did you misinterpret what I said about others touches. Ash it was a hug, Kaidan is sad and he feels lonely. He misinterpreted me being nice for an attraction. I set him straight. Ash you are the only one who's touch gets me all hot and bothered. Your touch is the only one that soothes and comforts me completely. I said after Saren and I meant it. You are the only one I want to be with. Please believe me." She says.

Who am I kidding I could never stay mad at her for long. "I'm sorry, I'm still getting used to these overwhelming feelings which seemed to have gotten better and yet worse at the same time, since I know you like me too." I said. "I give you my word and a Shepard never breaks there word, as soon as we're able to I'll be yours and only yours." She says and strokes my cheek. I lean into her touch. We walk back around the elevator and we just wait for Dr. Chakwas to tell us how our friend is. It's another hour before the Dr. comes out. " She'll make a full recovery with no lingering effects except for aches when it gets cold. She needs at least 24 hours to rest, so the intervention will take place at the earliest tomorrow." She says. We all sigh in relief, both because she is ok and because the intervention gets put off.

Once Dr. Chakwas gives the all clear that Chey is clear headed enough for the intervention to proceed. We all convene in the mess again, even Joker hobbled his ass down there and he never leaves his chair for any other reason the eating, sleeping, or going to the bathroom. Shea carries her into the mess and sits her down. "What is this?" Chey asks. "An intervention ." Shea replies. "I am fine. I do not need a fucking intervention!" Chey shouts. "Restrain her." Shea orders only Wrex is brave enough to do as he was ordered, no one had seen this kind of fire in her eyes before. "You are not fucking okay Chey! So you will fucking sit there until we've all said our piece!" Chey tries to break free, but can't the knots Wrex tied into the rope is too strong. "Might as well stop struggling that rope is strong enough to tie ten Krogans up and not break even if they all combine their strength." Wrex says. She glares at him and tries to struggle again. "Settle the Fuck down Chey and listen!" Shea orders. She pushes a couple of buttons on her Omni tool. "You still there mom?" she asks. "Yes. I'm here." Chey glares at her sister. "Really you brought our mom into this fucking intervention?" her mom comes over the speaker "You watch your language Cheyenne Denise Shepard or I won't even wait till your sister tells me to come and get you!" her tone even sends shivers down my spine, I can definitely tell where Shea gets her commander's voice from. I would very much like never to be on their mom's side of ire.

"What do you mean come get me?" Chey asks. "If we can't reach you through this intervention and you keep up your kamikaze and destructive attitude, I will remove you from this mission. Mom has agreed that if that was the case, she would come and get you and take you to get professional help. You're current path risks not only yourself but all of us, the ship, and the mission. So you will listen to us Cheyenne. If I have to remove you I will." Shea says. Her voice is strong and stern and doing weird things to my body. I was always the one who would take charge in the bedroom. Now I wanted Shea to be the one who is in charge in and out of the bedroom, once we get to that point that is. "After Saren." I vow.

Shea

I took no pleasure in doing this to Chey. I hated that he had come to this, I hated that I took Liana's ashes from my hiding place. It pained me to sit it on the table before her, here I was laying out almost everyone of her secrets for the crew to know about. It broke my heart to see my sister face Liana's ashes. I had hidden it that I had picked up her ashes on the citadel without her knowledge. I could see how much it pained her to look at the wooden box with her wife and child's name on it. "Aunt Karin you've know us the longest besides mom so why don't you start this off." I said. She nods. "I have known all three of you since you were swaddling infants. So I know how Liana would have felt if she could see you now.." Chey sniffles a sob. "Please don't say her name.." she begs. "I'm sorry Chey, but you can't ignore this and I will not dishonor Liana's memory by being complacent in this." Karin says.

"Liana would be disappointed and hurt by you. She went through hell to get you through Akuze and she confided in me that, she had made you give her your word that you would never let the tragedy of Akuze and any future tragedies consume you again. You are breaking your promise to her, just because she died does not mean the promise is rendered null in void, you dishonor her memory and the love you two had." I tell mom to go next. "Sweetheart, I more then anyone else can understand what you are going through. After your father was killed the only thing that kept me going was you two. Despite that pain I wanted you both to find love like I had. When you and Liana got together, I was overjoyed. She had accepted you for all you were the good and the bad and she loved you. When you two got married I cried for joy that day, because of her I had my daughter back. Every time your hearts broke when you lost a baby , my heart broke too. My heart breaks for your still, because you never got the chance to know the joys of children. When the miscarriages happened it was you who put together the pieces of Liana's shattered heart. It was you who gave her the strength and desire to keep trying. Liana isn't here to mend your broken heart anymore, so you have to be the one to draw strength from Liana's spirit to mend your own heart as she has and would if she were still with us." I wait a couple seconds and once sure mom was done I looked to Ashley. "Ash."

"When I was stationed on Eden Prime you and Liana took me in. You shared your home and hearts with me. Liana and I would sometimes run into each other in the middle of the night when sleep wouldn't return. She always spoke of how brave you were how selfless you were in giving of yourself and your time when someone needed it. She was so proud of you for opening yourself up to others especially with what you went through on Akuze. She told me you had been her strength and her drive to continue on after she lost the other babies. Your love for her always saw her through her rough times, she teared up when she thought about how you would for go sleep, just to hold her hair back when she was sick and to hold her. You saw her through the death of her parents and her siblings. She confessed to me that her one prayer to God was that you never lose that heart, that no matter the trials, the pain, or the tragedy that your heart would remain the kind soul it was. That you'd never lose your away like you did after Akuze." Ash finishes. I shiver and hold back the damn of tears threatening to break with in me. "Who would like to speak next?" I ask. Joker steps forward, I nod.

"Chey when we were in basic together before I went into pilot school, you never let me allow the others teasing break me down. When my bones would break you were there to give me a hand, you never tore me down because of my illness. When the drill sergeant went to strike me, for his enjoyment you stepped in for me. You took his beating and allowed him to strip you and lay all of you bare for the others to ridicule you." I never knew about this event. I need to find that man and met out justice.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I did the whole intervention here, because I believe it was important and it ties into the sequel, that I had wrote first. I apologize if futanari is not your cup of tea. I won't hold it against you if it does and you decide to stop reading it.**

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Ashley

I was aware of what had been the cause of ridicule I remember quite distinctly walking in on her and Liana a couple nights before she left on that supply run. The image of her thick hard length pounding into Liana from behind was still, shamefully, one of the things I had on occasion masturbated to. Joker continued his words. "You never once blamed me for what happened, and you never let me blame myself. I can tell you truly blame yourself for what happened, because despite what you said, I still blame myself for what happened. Chey what happened to Liana was not your fault no matter the circumstances. If anyone is to blame it's Saren. So please Chey stop punishing yourself." He pleaded. It was Garrus who stepped forward next. "Chey, I do not know you as well as the others do. I would like to though. You listened to me about Dr. Saleon and encouraged me to speak with Shea about it, because of that I was able to have closure on that issue. I could see the heart you try so hard to hide away within you, the chaos your mind that threatens to consume you. Please don't let it, I would see you whole again and get to know the real Cheyenne Shepard." He said.

Tali was next to speak, "Chey, I have come to know you as well as you would allow at this time. I have seen your humor and love shine through the darkness. You stood up for me against Udina when he first met me and was being an utter ass and just referring to me as the Quarian. You stood in front of me and I felt safe. You got into his face and demanded that I had a name and he should use it. Then on Therum you shielded me from that geth armature and though I know it was not so much about protecting me, I could still feel the nobility of the act that deep down was there. Let your inner light shine through the darkness." Kaidan went next. "Chey I was there when you held Liana close to you, not even caring that their blood was soaking through your clothes to your skin. I didn't know Liana, but I saw the love you too had and it touched something deep inside of me. It inspired me, uplifted me and gave me hope. Don't allow yourself to extinguish the light of love that still flickers in you." Wrex stepped up to the plate. It was a bit of a surprise, I haven't known any Krogan who actually care about others.

"Little Shepard, you have the spirit of a Krogan in you. Krogan's do not give up until their last breath and they die in a blaze of glory in battle. We do not just roll over and die. We fight with every breath. Krogan's do not love as you squishy races do. So fight little Shepard, fight to live again. Fight for the love you and your mate shared." Wow, I was actually impressed and suddenly very inspired to fight for the love I had for Shea. Liara was the next to speak. " I have known you for less then a month and yet I consider you a dear friend. You shared your memories with me about your childhood and growing up when I asked you to. You accepted the memories I gave you and I could sense you drew some strength from it. You bared you soul to me without knowing it. Your soul is gentle, full of warmth and love, it begs to burst through your pain. Let it. Please Chey don't cast it aside." Had they been melding when Chey visits her. I'm really curious now, and jealous because Liara knew more about the siblings in the past month then I had learned in six months. Several other crew members spoke to her and I think it was a shock to Chey how much her spirit had reached so many others without realizing it. I hoped and prayed that this would be enough for her to truly hear us. That it would be enough to stay her own hands. Enough to make her want to live, because she meant something to everyone even when she tried not to.

Shea grabbed Liana's ashes and kneeled in front of Chey wiping the silent tears away that had begun to fall. She held her sister and kissed her forehead and lifted her chin. The pure love and gentleness that rolled off of them set my heart a flutter. "Would Shea, love me as much? Would I feel that wave of love from her all the way to my soul? Would my love be the same for her?" I wondered. I hoped so.

Shea

I pressed my hand to her cheek after I wiped away her tears. "Chey, I know that you feel lost and afraid. You feel lost because the one thing in your life that made sense, the one thing that made you want to get up and greet the day, the one thing that gave you the strength to face your demons and what ever hell the day might put you through is gone. You are afraid that the light that kept the shadows at bay is no longer here, your afraid it died with Liana and Shepard jr, but in this you are wrong. The light is still within you, buried, but there, every one of us sees it. We all feel it, it's not gone, it will never truly go out as long as it remains in your heart. Liana saw it. She described it as it 'was as bright as the sun' drawing every one you meet in and touching them, protecting them, and allowing your light to make theirs shine all the more. I have felt it and it has been the same for me. Even now I feel it, this light I feel is you. I see you my sister." She tries to hold in her tears, I release her from her binds her arms wrap around me. "Let go Chey. I am here. I got you and I'm not going to let go." The dam in her breaks and even though the others are still here. She does nothing to dam it up again.

She cries hard for about 15 minutes. When she raises her I head I can see we have finally reached her. I thank God for this blessing. "There you are. Welcome back." I said. She smiles. "Not completely but for the first time since Eden Prime I'm on my way." She stands and leans against me. She faces everyone. "Thank you for this everyone. It really means a lot to me." She says they all nod and smile. "Thank you mom. I love you." She says. "Your welcome baby, anytime I am always here for you two. Except for right now I need to go, duty calls. We'll talk again soon. I love you both with all my heart." She says and we say goodbye then we here the line disconnect. "Unfortunately duty calls us all. Thank you everyone, but alas it is time to get back to the grind Saren won't wait forever." I announce they all salute and as each one leaves the mess hall they stop in front of Chey and salute her. Liara, Kaidan, Tali, Garrus, Joker and even Wrex hug her. Ashley hugs us both and kisses Chey's cheek. I only get slightly jealous I see her smirk. "Oh yeah Chey is back for sure. I expected that I would be teased mercilessly and I look forward to it, because this time it would be true and not forced." I smile. Aunt Karin hugs as both tightly and tilts my head down to kiss the top of my head. She need only to slightly lean over to kiss Chey's head.

Chey and I go back to the room. "I'm leaving you onboard the ship while we go to Noveria. I think you could benefit from some actual proper mourning time. Plus you still need to be disciplined for refusing to follow orders." I said . " I know. You are right. Shea, do you think you could find me a counselor? I think I need to talk through some things and I don't think anyone onboard is qualified." She admits. " I already have Sha'ira has agreed to speak with you once a week for an hour." I said. "Sha'ira, but it costs so much for an hour." She says. "It's alright. She said she wouldn't charge us anything, and even if she did I gladly pay any amount to get my sister back." I reply. She smiles "So it looks like we have two heartthrobs on board now. Ashley totally digs the Shepard charm." She says. "Yeah the Shea Shepard charm, so you have no chance with her." I reply. She laughs. "Besides if your looking for love Kaidan is totally into you.'' I said. "If only he didn't have the same part as me downstairs I might test the waters." She says. "Shea I feel lighter and happier, but I still don't feel desire, not even when I think about Liana, and I was trying just now, I thought of the hottest most satisfying sexual event with her. I came five times that night, Liana seven, but nothing." She says.

"Well, it's probably to soon for you still. It will take time Chey. Everything can't be fixed in one night. Don't drive yourself crazy over it. Sha'ira will be contacting you tomorrow at 0900. Try to talk to her about it she probably has some answers for you. She will still give me a progress report weekly." I said.


	10. Chapter 10

Ashley

The overall mood of the ship was somber and yet, less heavy. "Wow, so many people cared about Chey in varying degrees. The whole intervention was moving and my heart was full, Chey had been reached. I hoped I would see the Chey I had come to know and love as sister on Eden Prime." I mused. I felt a tap on my shoulder I hoped it was Shea, but it was Kaidan. "Hey Ashley. About what happened yesterday in the mess. I'm sorry if that looked like more then a friendly hug. Shea figured out I liked her and she was letting me down gently, I misinterpreted the signals. I just wanted you to know, that I know she only wants you and that I would be stepping back. I know you two are waiting till Saren is dealt with, but I'm still stepping back. I sincerely hope that you and Shea will be happy." He said. He held out his hand. I nodded and shook it. "Thanks Kaidan. No hard feelings?" I ask. "I won't lie it makes me sad, but no hard feelings. You are Shea's choice, and I will respect that." He says and our hands let go and he returns to his station.

We docked on Noveria a couple of days later. Kaidan and myself accompany Shea, after a minor altercation with some guards we were on our way to Administer Anoleis office. Or at least we were until Shea went to the shop and agreed to smuggle something for a Hanar. Normally neither of us do well with smuggling, but she agrees just to help out the Hanar. We had agreed on the way back to the docking bay that we would check the merchandise and go from there. It was nothing bad just some weapon mods we didn't need, but nothing morally wrong so we gave it to the Hanar. Shea gets double what he was going to originally pay us. She had quite the silver tongue, I wondered what other talents her tongue might have, but remembering she was a virgin, she probably doesn't know much about what to do with her tongue. I smiled as I was looking at her. "I guess I'll have to teach her, and I will love every minute of it, as will she." I feel a nudge. "Umm Ashley, your looking at Shea with a predatory gleam, it's a bit disconcerting." Kaidan says. I blushed, I was a little surprised that Liara was walking up to us.

"Hey, what's up?" I ask her. "Shea radioed and told me to come, that my mother was still here." She said. "Oh. OK. Hey Shea, Liara's here you need one of us to head back to the ship?" I ask her. "Yeah, I need you to go back Ash. Chey is having a rough day and so I thought she could use some sisterly companionship, so since I can't go, I need you too. Sorry Ash I know you want to stay." She says. "No worries. Be safe. I'll see you later. Liara I hope things work out with your mom. Kaidan you had better keep our commander safe." I said. He nods. "Will do chief." He says. Liara hugs me nd whispers. "Thank you Ashley I will do all I can to keep your heart safe for you, if you keep mine safe while I'm away." She says. "Don't worry between Chey and I nothing will happen to Tali." I whispered back. She kisses my cheek in thanks. Now if only they could admit to each other. "One thing at a time." I think as I get on board the ship, remove my armor and head to Shea's room.

"Hey Ash." She says. "Shea said you were having a bad day, but you seem fine." I said. "Yeah, I kind of tricked her. I'm not saying I'm fine, but I wanted some alone time with you." She says. I arch my eyebrows. "Chey, I know you are hurting and in need of some comfort, but I'm in love with Shea." She starts laughing. "What?" I ask miffed. "I'm sorry. That sounded differently in my head, so I wanted to do something special for Shea. So I thought you might have some ideas, most of mine are too romantic, and well you two have been talking a lot and you have three sisters. So I was hoping you could help me out with what to do." She says. All anger I may have felt disappears and warmth spreads around my heart. "By the way, I already consider you my sister, but I wouldn't mind if it was made official and you married Shea." I spit out the sip of water I had taken. "M-marriage. Marry your sister." I blush fiercely.

Shea

"Noveria is fucking cold. My armor is doing nothing to keep the cold at bay." We had stopped Anoleis's corruption and we stopped an asari from stealing some secret information. Gianna Parasini gave us a pass so we could proceed to the peak 15 station and confront Matriarch Benezia. Which is why we were now freezing our asses off as we wandered through the station fighting Rachni and their drones, trying to get to the hot labs where she was. And it was very fucking cold. How I'd love to curl up to fire drinking hot cocoa while Ashley is snuggled up against me. It was just a daydream but one day we would make it a reality. And I couldn't wait. I hoped thoughts of Ash outside of the Alliance would distract me enough to not focus on how bloody cold it was.

I wondered how Chey was doing, a part of me knew she was tricking me, but whatever she wanted to do with Ash seemed really important. As long as she wasn't doing Ash, I was ok with not having her with me. We finally caught up to the Matriarch, and now here comes the villainous speech that always seemed to happen, even though this was real life and not a movie, book, show, or game. Liara seemed speechless, I could get it, it was one thing to go over in your head what you would say to someone, but it was a lot harder for the words to come when you were facing said person. I hope whatever comes from this Liara can handle.

As the Matriarch took her last breath she gave me what was needed to find the conduit Saren was looking for. To know that someone as strong as Benezia was to lose complete control. This ship Sovereign was more powerful then we first thought. This once difficult task now had become even more daunting. The sudden need for a day off from everything became overwhelming. "I would like just one day, one day to relax." I thought. This mission has wore me down physically, mentally, and emotionally. Liara was quiet, unnervingly so. I became worried she would shut down like Chey, I would let her get the chance to say goodbye properly. I walked a bit away and radioed the ship. "Hey Joker, how long would it take to get to Thessia from here?" I ask. "Thessia? Why do we have to go there?" he asked. "We don't have to go, but I want to and Liara needs to. Her mom was indoctrinated and we had to kill her. Liara is starting to shut down. I want to give her some closure and hopefully help her to move on." I said.

"Gotcha, Thessia from here if we don't stop unless we absolutely have to 3 days going to and coming back. " Okay. Set the course when we return we leave immediately. How is Chey doing?" I ask. She seems to be fine, but Ash and her have been in your room for like an hour, so I couldn't actually tell you." He responds. "Ok we'll be back in about 2 hours. We're going to have to contain the situation here first." I said. "Yes ma'am." He says and we disconnect. "Take 20 everyone, because once we initiate this neutron purge we'll have to run like hell to escape the blast." I said. "Yes, ma'am" Kaidan says. Liara just nods and heads to the other side of the room. "Kaidan, keep an eye on her." I tell him quietly. He nods.

I leave that room and find my way back to Benezia's body. I found a blanket and wrapped her body into it and carried her to the tram station, gently I set her body on a bench. I return to the next room just before the 20 minute rest was over. "Everyone ready?" Affirmative nods around we continue on to the control room. I pull up the system and select the initiate purge command and enter the password then we hauled ass I took the rear just in case someone couldn't keep up. We breath a sigh of relief once we get of the elevator and back into the tram station. Liara notices the body. "I decided we would be taking her back to Thessia to have a funeral for her. I hope that's ok with you." I inform Liara she nods and looks out the windows.


	11. Chapter 11

Ashley

I had never gave much thought to marrying Shea until Chey mentioned it. Now I couldn't stop thinking and imagining it. She'd be in her dress blues or a custom fitted white tux. We wouldn't get married at a church. It would have to be somewhere special for both of us. "The Normandy." I decided. I could just picture it we would walk around the galaxy map and meet up before the path o the cockpit. Her midnight tresses be in a long ponytail instead of the bun she wears now, my dark brown hair would be down around my shoulders, blue and white flowers real or plastic would be threaded through. My veil would be simple and elegant. Our hands would be placed over each other and we kneel like in medieval times. We would write our own vows, when the officiate would say, rise Mrs. Shea and Ashley Shepard we would slowly rise and everyone there would be silent. Then we'd kiss and the whole CIC filled with our friends would erupt into cheers and applause. Then we would take the surprisingly slow elevator to Shea's quarters and have a quickie, then put on our reception outfits and once again descend to the cargo bay.

She holds my hand and we walk around the bay to our table. Chey would give a speech maybe read some poetry for us she did have a beautiful voice for reading. I would have taught her to dance by now and she would take me in her arms and we'd glide around the make shift dance floor. "Ash? Normandy to Ash, come in Ash?" Chey says breaking me from my fantasy. "Hmm? What?" I said. "Where did you go just now?" she asks. I blush a bit. "Somewhere beautiful, and someday in the not to far off future, hopefully." I said with a stupid grin. "Oh, and where would that be? Hopefully not naughty times with Shea, because I really don't want to hear about what you would do to my sisters body." She says. "I would never share that with you. If you must know I was just having a fantasy wedding with Shea. We had just been in the middle of the first dance as wives." I explained.

She laughs, "Sorry the image of my sister flailing about on a dance floor always makes me laugh. You do realize Shea can't dance to save her life, don't you?" she asks. "I am well aware of your sister's lack of dancing skills, but it was a Waltz and I had taught her well." I said. She raises her hands in surrender. "Fair enough, now what about the matter at hand. What should I do? What do you think she'd like?" she asks. "A day off and a fantastic dinner." I reply. "Ash are you a good cook?" I shake my head. "My sister's tell me I am a great cook." I respond. "Excellent you can make the fantastic dinner and I'll work on getting her the day off. It's perfect and maybe I'll even give her a nice back rub. To help ease the tension." She says. "Are you good at back rubs?" I ask. "Actually I am. Liana taught me everything she learned in massage therapy school." She replies.

"Well let's get this train rolling. What is Shea's favorite dish?" I ask. "You couldn't tell by looking at her, but Shea is a total foodie. She loves all kinds of food, so I would just look in the pantry and figure it out from there. Wait no there's one type of food she doesn't like at all. Seafood. She hates all types of seafood. So avoid that all together." She says. "Okay. I can do that. Should I make a dessert?" I ask. " Oh definitely dessert is her favorite. Pies in particular she loves pie." She says. I grin. "That is something else we have in common then. I love pie too." She looks confused. "Are we both talking about the same kind of pie?" She asks shyly. "No Chey, we are most definitely not." She groans. "I really don't want to think about that. God I wish I could kill something right now." She pinches the bridge of her nose. I laugh, "Chey are you being shy?" I tease. "Shut it, soon to be sister-in- law." She says which causes me to blush all over again, and once again get lost in fantasy weddings with Shea. "Great, I'm going to be seeing weddings in my head all day now thanks to you." She claps my shoulder. "Anytime sis, anytime."

Shea

Our hearts were heavy once we boarded the ship. Liara continued her silence, I excused her and nodded for Tali to follow her like I knew she would want to. "We won't be on Thessia for long, a week at the most." I said secretly hoping that it would indeed be in that time frame. Ash and Chey waited a bit after. " I know it's kind of a bad time, but Chey and I were talking earlier, and well we thought you could use a day off. I made dinner for you and Chey is going take charge of the ship." She said. "I don't get days off." I said. "Sorry sis, you don't have a choice in the matter you need a day to rest and recharge your batteries. That, and we worked really hard to arrange things for you." Chey says. "Okay fine. Are you sure you can handle running the ship?" I asked Chey. "Of course, we're already heading to Thessia, and it will take at least a day to get there. I did go to officer school too you know. I think I can handle it." She says. I only feel slightly reassured. "Alright. Just let me deal with the council first." I said. She nods and Joker connects the line. I shouldn't have been surprised that the council was not happy with Noveria, when were they ever happy with what I did.

"Why are you going to Thessia, we gave you intel that Saren was heading to Virmire. Your mission is to stop him, not go prancing about with the Asari." The Turian councilor said. "We are going to Thessia to have a funeral for Matriarch Benezia. You read the report she wasn't in control of herself. She used whatever strength she had left to break free and help us. She was an honorable woman and as such she will be laid to rest with honor." I explain to them. The Asari councilor Tevos was on our side she thought it would be best to do so. "Be as that may how does this help your mission?" The Salarian councilor asked. "It helps a member of my crew get some closure, which in turn will make it easier to have her at 110 percent. My crew needs to be mentally capable for my mission to succeed." I explain again. "Still.." I interrupt the Turian. "My ship, my crew, my mission, and my rules. Good day councilors." I disconnect from them.

"I am so fucking tired of them always trying to micromanage me. I'm sick of them always berating me for my every fucking decision." I grouse. " We know. We hate it too. We don't see there asses hanging out in the line of fire. They don't understand how crucial it is for soldiers to have a clear mind when they fight." Ash says comfortingly rubbing my lower back. "How about that dinner now?" she asks. "Please and Thank you." I reply and proceed her out the door and to the elevator to the mess. The meal she sat in front of me smelled and looked divine. "Where did we even get chicken from?" I wonder but then realized I didn't care it looked delicious. I took a bit and it was amazing. "You made this all?" I ask Ashley. She smiles. "I did, I got the ingredients on Noveria. Do you like it?" she asks. "I love it. If you keep cooking like this I may have to marry you." I said only halfway teasing. "We'll see Shea. It might just happen. Now eat. Your day off has just begun." She says.

After my very satisfying meal, Ashley and I watch the first season of an old TV show called 'RWBY'. "Chey suggested it she thought you and I might enjoy it." Ashley says. "I did, it was fun. What about you?" I ask. "I really liked it too, those weapons were crazy awesome." She says. "I liked the fight scenes the most, it looked more like an actual battle was like. And those girls have crazy mad skills." I said. I look at my watch it was 2002 hours. Ash had some of duties to see to, and we hugged and parted ways. I headed back up to my quarters. "Hey Shea, did you enjoy the show?" she asks. "I really did, is there more?" I ask. "Yeah, I have the second season. I'm still trying to find the third season. I'll send the second one to your data pad a little later. Now I would like to give you a back and shoulder massage. Pressly is in the CIC watching over things for now." I nod and remove my shirt, for my massage.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Warning! Some mild Ashley self smut.**

* * *

Ashley

The show we watched was so good, that not even Shea's close proximity distracted me from it. I really wanted to snuggle up to her though. We were so close I could smell her strawberry shampoo. "After Saren we'll watch it again and I will definitely be snuggling her." I thought. My heart flip flopped when I remembered her comment about marrying me. "One day." I said, and I would. One day she will be my wife, I could hardly wait. Tali came back down to the engine room there was no bounce at all, which considering the circumstances I can understand. I walked over to her. "Hey Tals, how is Liara holding up?" I ask and I really did care. Somewhere along the road, I had grown attached to our alien crew members.

"As good as you would expect. She still refuses to speak, and she hasn't shed a tear. I hope Thessia helps her as much as I like Chey, one of her is enough." She says. "True, Chey seems to be getting better again. I have a feeling that this time it's genuine." I said to her. "I think so too. I need to get back to my duties. We can talk more later." She says. "I do too. Later Tals." I said. "Later Ash." She returns to her post and I am back to my gun and armor maintenance. I hoped Shea was enjoying her relaxing massage. I admit I was jealous. I really would like a massage too. And I also wished I was Chey right now, I would love to caress every bit of skin on Shea's body. I sigh and try and picture it, my images of massaging Shea are erotically distracting. I may need to find a private place tonight.

I get a message from Chey at 0030, it has two attachments one is both seasons of 'RWBY' she has and one is of Shea curled up on the couch in just a tank top and panties. "She is definitely relaxed now. Goodnight Ash." I feel my face heat up with both desire and jealousy. Now I definitely needed a quiet and empty place to go. I looked around, Wrex and Garrus were gone no doubt finding a bunk or pod to sleep in. The procurement officer was also gone. I looked at the Mako and bit my lower lip. It was never locked while it was onboard. I walked over to it and opened the hatch. It was blissfully empty and soundproof. I closed and locked the hatch, it wouldn't take me long. I stand by the nearest bench and undue my pants and sit down laying slightly back.

I pull up the image of Shea in her tank and underwear and start picturing myself ripping off her clothes and throwing her down on the floor of the Mako. I grab one of breasts through my shirt and bra and start massaging it in circles picturing her hands on me. I slide my other hand down to my naked sex, I push a finger in and see I'm soaked. I bite my lip again, and slowly fuck myself. I stroke my clit a couple of times and add another finger. Faster I enter myself and pump my hand. I'm starting to squirm, I add a third finger and stroke my clit with my thumb until my whole body shudders with release. My legs are still shaky as I stand back up to re-due my trousers. I regain more strength in my legs and leave the Mako and make sure it isn't locked. I feel vaguely satisfied and exhausted.

I grab my sleeping shorts and t-shirt from my footlocker. I wash my hands and dress. With my clothes now in my laundry bag I settle onto my bunk. Sleep doesn't come easy. Christmas is coming up in five days. So I imagine the Normandy all decked out in Christmas decorations. Mistletoe hangs in doorways. We have candy cane and chocolate hot cocoa and we don't have to get presents, we can just spend time talking about holiday traditions we have at home. I would steal a kiss from Shea under the mistletoe. It's tradition after all. Then I think of much more private Christmas's between us. I would wrap myself up naked and wait for Shea to come find me. She would slowly unwrap me caressing each new patch of skin she sees. "No, no. Mind out of the gutter, it's too comfy to get up and take care of that issue again." I tell myself after coming up with less adult images, I feel myself drift off to sleep.

Shea

Thessia really was beautiful. I decided I would have to come back here again under more auspicious circumstances. We stay on the Normandy, the funeral was in the morning. Tevos and Sha'ira really helped us out and sped up the funeral preparations. It wasn't overly late when Liara came and visited me. "Hi. You ok, well for the circumstances that is?" I ask. "I am getting there, sorry about the lack of speaking lately. I just had a lot to think about. I also have a favor to ask." She says. "I understand. I'm listening what do you need?" I ask. "When an Asari passes, there is a long process of sorting out what was left to their children. I'm an only child so everything passes to me, but it can still take awhile." She says. "Do you need to stay on Thessia?" I ask. "Normally yes, but I'd rather not. I gave you my word, that I would help you with Saren, and I have no intention of backing out now. What I need is for you to keep the lawyers at bay. I will deal with it in my own time, or if I can over communications. But not until after Saren has been stopped." She says. "We'll do what we can. We can leave right after the funeral is finished. If that's ok." I tell her. "That would be most appreciated." She said.

It began to rain after we sent Benezia's funeral pyre down the Thessian river. I saw Chey standing by the riverbank and noticed her spread Liana and Jr. ashes. I could see peace was coming over her. I don't think she realized I was watching. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw Liara kneel down, I stood by her a couple minutes. She looked behind her and told us it was the lawyers. I whistled for my crew and we all stood around her. Letting it be known that they shall not pass. I could hear Liara start to sob, Tali kneeled down next to her and put her arms around her. Like a well oiled machine my crew readjusted and tightened the circle around her. For a minute it looked like they would use their Biotics, but I guess they realized that it would be a insult to the Matriarch. When Liara stood we again readjusted and did our best to protect her. She faced the Lawyers. "Once we have dealt with Saren and only then will I address mother's will." She was firm and her voice strong and confident. The lawyers nodded and parted like the red sea in the old testament of the bible.

A couple of days later Ash approaches me on behalf of the crew. "So, Christmas is in 3 days. The crew and I were wondering if we could maybe have a little holiday party?" She asks, she seems nervous. "Ash. Why are you so nervous and why hasn't anyone else brought this up?" I ask. "Well, you see we know that we need to finish this as soon as possible, so we weren't sure you'd be okay with another delay. So the rest of the crew asked me to talk to you about it." She says twisting her hands. "So let me get this straight. The crew approaches you about asking me, because they were too nervous that I might lose my temper." She nods. I laugh. "Ash, a party sounds good we could all use a little loosening up. I may or may not have secretly procured a case of Serrice Ice Brandy, for use in a holiday party." I grin she grins. "For the record Ash, anyone can ask me anything. I keep an open door policy." I reassure her. "Tell you what, you can be in charge of setting up the party, and since everyone sent you as the 'sacrificial pawn' you get to be in charge and tell them what to do. You are there commander in this, and they all get to do your duties." I said.

She smiles again. I love her smile. I think it could bring the sun out on even the darkest of days. "So get to work chief. I'll go make the announcement." I pat her on the back and head back up to the CIC. "Joker patch me into the PA system." I hear the ding saying I'm in. "Attention all Normandy crew. I have agreed to allow a holiday party to be thrown. Gunnery Chief Williams is in charge of the party planning. What she says goes. Since she will be busy and you all tried to throw her to the wolf. Not only will you be maintaining your own duties in your off time, you will be helping Williams, as well as doing her duties. "


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N There may be some unwanted physical contact and the word rape, though there is no rape in this story**

* * *

Ashley

"For future reference if you need to speak to me or ask me about something, please don't hesitate and don't send someone else in your stead. I keep an open door policy." She said. I was excited, but I was also worried that the crew would hold a grudge against me. However, they didn't and accepted that they had deserved what Shea dished out. It took us two days, finishing up before Christmas eve. Everyone woke up in a happy mood even Liara couldn't help but get swept up in the joy. "It looks great everyone. Great job!" Shea says. "Everyone give a big hooyah to Gunnery Chief Williams." I blush and smile. "If you wish to drink feel free, Chey and I will be remaining sober, in case there any problems. Enjoy yourselves but not too much now, tomorrows duties will commence at 1000 hours. Dismissed." She says.

I look around pleased it was very helpful that everyone on the crew had some holiday decorations. I was no exception the wreaths and mistletoe were mine. The wreaths I had the mistletoe my sisters had sent to me when they saw who my Commander was and could tell I really was attracted to her. I smiled remembering all the Christmas's we had spent together. I walked around and decided I would not be drinking. For two reasons one when I get drunk I am much more touchy feely and I would be too touchy feely with a certain dashing commander. The second reason was in case something did happen I wanted to have a clear mind. Shea had also managed to procure four bottles of Turian Brandy, for Tali and Garrus, two bottles of Ryncol for Wrex and two bottles of Thessian wine for Liara. Kaidan seem to waste no time when it came to drinking. From what I understood it took a lot to get a biotic drunk, but he sure was giving it the old college try.

I bumped into Shea. "It really looks great Ash. Now if we had a fireplace and some hot cocoa then it would be perfect." She says. "Yeah that'd be great." I reply briefly distracted by daydreaming we were cuddling on a couch with hot cocoa and just watching the flames dance. Chey approaches us. "Hey, so you two are ignoring a very important tradition." She points upward. I had forgotten I put a mistletoe there. We look at each other and blush shyly we move in close, I close my eyes and aim for her cheek. My heart stopped when I felt lips instead, I opened my eyes at the same time as her and giggled. "Perhaps we should have kept our eyes open. Though in truth I don't regret it in the least." I said. "That makes two of us." She agrees. Kaidan approached Chey and they went somewhere quieter. I had bad feeling, but knowing Chey's preference I let it go. They probably just went to talk away from the noise.

All in all, it was a great evening Liara kissed Tali's faceplate since they ended up under the same mistletoe Shea and I had. I still remembered everyone chanting "Kiss, Kiss, Kiss." Chey and Shea among them. Shea and I were talking about how much fun last night was when Kaidan approached us. "Shepard, I have something to tell you, and I'm sorry and I'm ashamed. Yesterday, at the holiday party I got really drunk and I tried to take advantage of Chey. I kissed her and grabbed her chest and crotch." He didn't get to say much else, because I kicked him in the balls and at the same time Shea punched him in the jaw. "You raped my sister. Your off the mission and will be arrested once we get to Virmire." She says. "I didn't rape her I groped her and she set me straight. But I understand. I'll stay away from everyone. Being drunk, does not make what I did okay." He said.

Chey came up to us shortly afterwards. "Look, what Kaidan did was wrong, but I don't think he should be punished so severely. He was drunk and seeing you two and Tali and Liara all the feelings between you four and he was too much for him. He was lonely and drunk. A lot of us can understand his feelings, so please as a favor to me please don't be too harsh with him." She says. " As a favor to you." Shea says.

Shea

I spoke with Kaidan and informed him that we would keep him on the mission. I also said he would take over cleaning all the equipment. I apologized to him about what was happening on the mission between us four and we would try and keep things professional. He said. "I appreciate the thought but please, this is my personal problem and I need to learn how to deal with things like this. It's bound to happen no matter where I go. I accept any and all punishment you deem necessary. It was very unprofessional on my part, and completely against regs. I should be demoted and dishonorably discharged." He said. "Kaidan, I can forgive you but promise me you will never tell anyone about Chey's privates and please keep that stuff we found out about in regards to Akuze secret until after we deal with Virmire. I think Chey can handle it now." He nods. "I will Shea." He says. "Okay. Kaidan. So you know it might take me awhile to trust you completely again, at least off the battlefield." I tell him. "I understand Shea. I will do everything I can to earn that trust back." He said.

I sat in the conference room, just staring at Kaidan's empty chair. My decision weighed heavily on me. "Go save Ash. I have to stay with the bomb the detonator was damaged I have to do this manually. I'm sorry Shea." He said. "Kaidan. No we can come get you still. We'll just fire at it from orbit or something." I said and I felt the tears well remembering our last conversation. "You know that won't work. Our targeting systems aren't advanced enough for that maneuver. Shea you know it's the right call." He said. "Belay that Commander. He is the higher ranking officer, he is priority." Ashley said. There were both right, and I had been torn. Chey tapped me on the shoulder.

"Shea, look at me." She gently ordered. I met her gaze. "What is your mission?" she asked. "To stop Saren from succeeding in his plans and bring him in for justice." I replied. "Which instance here does that?" she asked. "Destroying the base." I answered. "Which one saves more lives?" I thought a moment. "The bomb going off. If I save Ash, not only will Kirrhe's team be saved, but so will everyone in the galaxy." I said. "Then what should you do?" she asked. "I hate this. Kaidan. I'm sorry, if I could save you both I would." I said. "You have made the right call. My only regret is that I won't ever be able to earn back what I lost. It's been an honor Commander. Chey, I'm really sorry about what happened." He said. "It's alright Kaidan and I meant what I said. If I had liked men too. I would have been with you." She said. "In hindsight I would have chosen you too. I hope one day you find love again." He said.

After our farewells, I raced to get Ash. She tried to stand firm. "No. I demand you go after Kaidan. He's the better soldier." She stomped her foot. "I am losing one good friend today as it is and I won't lose another." I said to her. "I'm not moving." She stubbornly said. "You and your damn Williams pride. I wasn't giving you a choice." I said and I grabbed her hoisted her over my shoulder cave man style and race to the Normandy. From the observation window, I watched the bomb go off and said a final farewell to one of the best men in the universe.

Ashley approaches me after my call to the council. I don't even care that they aren't happy and that they don't agree to go to Ilos right away. Ash accuses me of putting my feelings in front of the mission. After I yell at first, and say a few not so nicely toned words, my tone softens. "I have given up everything in my life, and anything I ever wanted for myself for this fucking mission. Even love." I said and I storm out and head back to my room. I collapse heavily on the floor and I can't stop the tears from flooding out. I can't suppress the body wracking sobs which makes my head feel like it's going to explode. I didn't even care, I let the pain have free reign. I cried for hours until Karin came to comfort me and putting me in my bed exhausted from the emotions of the day I pass out immediately. A part of me hopes I never wake up again. I was sick of being the hero, sick of being the one to make these hard and painful decisions. I hated ever becoming a Spectre.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N a little fluff**

Ashley

After we had that argument. I needed to figure it out if their was truth in what Shea said. So I approached Chey and asked about when Shea left her on the ship she explained the situation. "So how did you escape?" I asked. "There was an Asari Commando on board she was undercover as a 'entertainer' she used a singularity and a warp to decimate the slavers that had me surrounded. When the biotic explosion happened she put a barrier around us and we got into an escape pod. Her last name was Kurin and that's all I know about her. Ash I know you are upset, and I don't really think it's because Shea chose to save you. You are upset because you never got to set things right with Kaidan before he died. If Shea wasn't thinking of the mission and chose you just because she loved you it would have taken her less time to decide, and she also wouldn't have been crying as hard as she was when Karin found her." She says. My heart aches and I need to see her.

"Chey, she said she gave up love for this mission and you said she loves me." I said. "She never told you I guess. As a Spectre regulations don't pertain to you. You and her could get together and it would not count against you in the slightest." Chey said. "Really?" I ask. "Yes really." She said. "Why didn't she tell me?" I ask. "It's obvious isn't it? She knows how dangerous this could be, and she knows how a relationship can hurt the mission. But mostly it was because you weren't comfortable with the idea until the mission was complete." She says. "I really love my sister, but she's an idiot." She says. "Why?" I ask.

"She's an idiot because, true we don't know what may happen. Any of us could die, including her. She should find happiness while she can." She says. "No, I think, that's why she didn't. She didn't want me to have to go through what you did with Liana. So she wants to wait until she knows for sure she'll make it, that we all will." I said. "You're right that sounds more like her. You should also know Shea won't make the first move. So you'll need to be the one to make the first move when the time comes." She said and walked away. I had a lot of thinking to do. First, I needed to apologize to Shea.

By 0000 I knew what I would do. I crept out of my bunk and to Shea's room. Her door was closed so I knocked and Chey opened up. "I'm going to go shower. Shea is asleep, but I don't think she'll care if you wake her she's been whispering your name for the past hour." She says. I nod and she goes past me. I sit next to Shea at the foot of her bed. "Ashley.. "I'm sorry.. please don't leave me." I felt like I got hit with a ton of bricks she was having bad dream that I left her. I would not let this stand, I stroked her cheek. "Wake up Shea. Come back to me." I said and I kiss her cheek. Her eyes fluttered and she saw me and grabbed me. "Please don't leave me. I need you Ash." I embraced her tighter. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. We do need to talk though." I said. She blinks her eyes a couple more times. "I know Ash." She says.

" First I wanted to apologize to you, for both the things I said and for what accused you off. I did talk to Chey, during our conversation I realized I was never mad at you. I was mad at the situation. I never got to set things right with Kaidan." I said. "Neither did I really. I get that soldiers sometimes lose their life in the line of duty, but this is different. I essentially let him die, it would have been the same if I had chose to save Kaidan. Then I would be thinking about you like this. I know there wasn't anything I could do to save you both, but it doesn't make me feel any better. His death will haunt me for the rest of my life." She admits to me. I can't really think of what to say so I just hold her. "Shea why didn't you tell me about regs not applying to you?" I ask. "For this reason, it could have been you. And it would hurt like hell. It could have me and I didn't want to hurt you like that." She says.

Shea

"Oh Shea, you are an idiot. It wouldn't have mattered whether we had gotten together or not. I love you too much. Either way it would have hurt like hell. One way there would be guilt and pain, and the other way would have just been pain and I would have good memories of us to get me through it." She says. "What are you trying to say Ashley?" I ask. "That I don't want to wait anymore. If either us die here, I want us to die loving each other openly. Now I'm not saying make out and fuck everywhere possible. I'm saying that, well I want us to be together." I can't find the words to answer her, so I just kiss her in answer, it gets heated fast and the next thing I know she's on top of me. "Ash.. Ash I'm not ready for that yet." I groan out. She pulls away slowly. "I'm sorry, it just kind of has built up in me." She says. "I should go." I laugh and grab her hand. "Please stay. I could use some cuddles." I said. She nods and I make room for her on the bed. I lay my head on her chest and put an arm around her middle. I had never felt such peace and easily I fell asleep with her fingers stroking my hair.

I woke up to my sister's grinning face, and an empty side of the bed. "Ash woke up about an hour ago, and went to shower and attend to her duties." She said. "Why are you grinning?" I ask wearily. She shows me picture of Ash and I cuddled up together my hand is on her naked breast, and her shirt was pulled up. I blush in embarrassment. "Please don't tell me Ash woke up with my hand like that." I groan. She would have if I hadn't lifted your hand and pulled down her shirt." She said. "Much appreciated." I said. "Hey Commander we just heard from the council. They read the report and would like to discuss it further we've been ordered to go to the Citadel." Joker says. I reach the CIC. "It's about time they did something. Head to the citadel." I order. "We'll be there by tomorrow." He said. "Okay."

I punch my locker, and slide down it. "Of course they wouldn't help, but to ground us. It's like they want Saren to win." I said sighing resignation. "Bastards, the fucking cowards. This is why I hate fucking politics and politicians." Ash says. As she looks down at me. "I know. I'll figure out another way." I said. "How?" I didn't know so I was honest. "I don't know Ash. I may have to do something drastic. If you want to get off here, I won't hold it against you." I said. "Not a chance Shea. Where you go, I go. I'm with you." She says she reaches down with a hand and I grab it she pulls me up. We get ready to kiss again, but we get interrupted. "I apologize if I'm interrupting, but Anderson called he has an idea to get us out of here, but he would like to speak to you at the night club in the wards Flux." He says. "Got it we'll head out now. Have Chey meet Ash and I at the airlock." I said.

"Well, at least we might be able to get out of here and to Ilos." Ash says. "Hey so what's up?" Chey said. "Anderson might be able to help us leave. We need to meet him at Flux." I tell her. As we pass the dance floor, I briefly remember convincing Ash to dance with me. It was the first time I heard her laugh. She remembered too and laughed again. "Remind me that I need to do something about your atrocious dancing." Ashley says. "We'll see." I reply. We spot him at a table, briefly I check in on Jenna whom we helped get out of some undercover work. We stop in front of him, he tells us his plan. "You want us to steal the Normandy?" Ashley asks. "I like it, I was thinking something along the lines of that too, but beating it out of Udina to break us from dry dock, and taking him as a hostage." I said. "What!?'' Ashley says in disbelief. "I told you I might get an incredibly insane idea. His idea though still crazy, is less insane. You have any other ideas Ash? I' open to suggestion here." I said. "No, no I do not." she said. "Good. I guess I'll be having a little one on one with Udina, if he's there. Get on your ship, and get ready to haul ass out of here." He orders. "Yes sir." We all said.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N so there is only two chapters left in this story. (sigh) I may need to just start setting up the chapters to upload for "Melting Hearts" Also smut warning, finally right. My apologies if it is kind of boring. If lesbian loving turns your tummy but not in a good way, hit the back button and save yourself.**

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Ashley

It felt it took forever for the green light to come on and for us to escape Citadel space. I had to say it was exhilarating breaking the rules. I also thought the council deserved this, that's what they get for doubting my Shea. "Speaking if my Shea, I think I will pop in on her and hopefully get to pop something else." I think lecherously. I approached Chey in the mess and explained that I wanted to be completely alone with Shea. She caught my meaning and grinned. "Just be gentle with her until she says otherwise." She says. "I have every intention of that." I said. "You can use my bunk tonight." I add. "Thank you." She says and I nod. Ever since we became a couple I slept in Shea's room with her and we'd make out a little, have a little groping session, but we always stopped before the main event. "That would not be so tonight, tonight we go all the way." I had decided.

"Skipper." I said. "Don't you think we're a little past titles?" She asks. "We had to do this Shea, you know that. There was no other way and you'll always be the Skipper to me. O captain, my captain." I said. "First Alfred Tennyson, now Walt Whitman. You're full of surprises." She says. I shrug "Dad loved all those sappy poets. Mom, was more into Plath. I'm not a word person Shea. Other people say what I mean better then I do. We're mutineers. Sailing a stolen warship into the most hostile system in the galaxy. Just call us humanity's best and brightest." I said. " I keep reminding myself we're doing the right thing. I don't believe me yet." She says. "Believe me then. You're doing the right thing. Death closes all, but something ere the end, some work of noble work may yet be done. Not unbecoming men, that strove with Gods. We'll get home again Shea. I believe you'll lead us through. O captain, my captain." I said. "Is my rank all you see when you look at me?" she asks. "No I see a strong passionate woman with a great ass. It's a good thing regs don't apply to you. I have spent my whole life fighting to get what I want. To get it done, I had to bury a lot of things. During that whole time, not even once did I feel like I was worth fighting for. You make me feel good enough." I said. " I can make you feel much more then that, come here." She say confidently, and it was sexy as hell, even though I knew she had absolutely no experience with sex, I believed her. "Hmmm.. no. I think you're going to have to come here." I said cheekily but oh God did I want do as she commanded. "Shut up and get over here." She orders. That did it, but I kept up our teasing. "Make me." I reply. She pulls me to her and I can't fight it anymore, I kiss her hungrily and we remove each others clothes without barely breaking off our kiss. I push her onto the bed and crawl up her body, there was no turning back now. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle until you beg me otherwise." I lay on top of her and settle myself between her legs, my clit presses into hers , both of us hard and aching.

She flips us over. "I have a feeling that if you go first I'll be too tired to reciprocate. So I'm going first, just tell me what feels good for you." She says. Her gentleness and concern for my pleasure is welcoming from my previous partners who rarely did more then just get me wet enough to get fucked. She nuzzles my neck and kisses it. She nips it a little then sucks on it hard enough for me to moan but not hard enough to mark me. Her hands trace patterns all over my skin sending pleasant chills through me and causing my nipples to harden further. She spends a little time lavishing my breasts and nipples with attention, causing me to moan harder and buck into her stomach. "I need more Shea.. please.." I beg something else I have never done in the past. She returns her lips to mine and slides a hand down my body to my heart core. She strokes my clit and in moments I have my first orgasm. She doesn't seem ready to stop and switch yet, so she inserts two finger inside my burning core.

Shea

I am aware she has come once and I was rather happy I could give her an orgasm as quickly as I did. I want to give her more, I want to try and show her how much I love her, how special she is to me. I insert two fingers inside of here and thrust slowly giving her clit time to be less sensitive. I curl my fingers inside of her and push on her front wall, swollen with desire. She bucks into my hand and I stop kissing her lips to move down to her clit. I could smell how aroused she was and it set my mouth drooling, I lower my mouth and pull out my fingers licking off her essence, it made me hungry for more. I swiped her lower lips with my tongue and moaned and tensed. "Please Shea.. I need you to claim me with your mouth.." she says wispily. I would not, could not deny her. I close me mouth around her nub and thrust three fingers inside of her. She bucks wildly and meet her wanton desire. I would always meet her desires if I could. She rides my fingers and I can feel her clenching, wanting to come. I thrust harder and suck her clit stronger. Her back arches and she screams with her release, my name never sounded so sweet coming from her lips as they did now.

"And you thought I would exhaust you." She says with a sated smile. I smile and pull my fingers from her sucking off her juices like a hungry child on their mother's teat. I crawl up to her. "There is still time for you to exhaust me, if you're up for it." I tease. She arches an eyebrow. "Challenge Accepted." She replies and rolls on top of me. I was hot and ready and I knew I was soaked, but still she teased me extending or foreplay until I was mad with desire. "Please Ash, Fuck me." I said. "Ooh, such dirty words from such an innocent mouth." She said. "I've said fuck and fucking plenty of times on this mission." I defend. "But never in this context. I thought you were so innocent." She teases. "Shut up and fuck me." She orders. "Ma'am, yes ma'am." I reply and let my tongue dance on her clit until she comes with a shudder. I insert one finger inside her, it isn't a super tight fit so her cunt must be used to her finger at least.

"Oh someone's naughty. You except my finger so easily. Has my little Shea been.. enjoying herself." She said. "Fuck you Ash.. it's your fault entirely." I said good naturedly. "Have I been in your dreams lately?" She asks. "Ash.. you have been in my every dream and fantasy since I met you." I reply between her thrusts which haven't broken through my hymen yet. "Well then let's not disappoint your mind. All teasing aside this is going to hurt." She warns. I nod and she pushes her middle finger all the way in, there was a sharp pain but then as she began moving in me an indescribable feeling. "More." I beg. She adds a second finger and after a brief discomfort while I adjusted begins thrusting in me earnestly. "Can't last.. need to come.." I moan. "Then come for me Shea." She says and hits the very swollen front wall just right and I come screaming her name and squirting on her. She collapses back on the bed.

"You win. I feel very exhausted." I said she smirks and snuggles up to my side. Even though I'm exhausted sleep eludes me, so I just bask in everything that is Ash and the afterglow of our love making. I get up quietly and do not wake up my sleeping partner. I dress and use the bathroom. I'm sore in all the right places, but I'm sure I'll be fine. I return to my room and lean against the desk, and just gaze at her beauty and her sex hair and she is so very beautiful to me. "She will be my wife, One day." I say to myself. She wakes and turns to me. "Wow, Shea that was the best I've ever had. Must be beginners luck." She teases me and I smirk. "Shall we go again, to prove that." She is taken aback I had never really been this confident in the bedroom department before. "My, my, aren't we the bold one." She teases and of course Joker interrupts our banter. "We'll be reaching Ilos in five minutes commander." He says. "Got it, I'll be up in a couple minutes." I reply. I cross the room and kneel on the bed and kiss her deeply. "I love you." She kisses me back. "I love you too." She replies we separate and she dresses again.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N I have realized that every chapter starts with Ashley's point of view, but that just the way the ball bounced. One chapter left.**

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Ashley

I was in hog heaven right now. I check out my commander, a different distraction takes hold, my fantasies are richer and more arousing, since I know what she looks like naked and I can feel her skin beneath my touch as if it was really there. These were my thoughts as it seemed like we would be plummeting to our doom on Ilos. Joker and Shea came up with this completely insane stunt to land he mako 20 feet from the door. I gripped the sides of my seat on the Mako, clenching my ass and praying fervently for God to keep us safe. I would do so until we landed. My knuckles had turned white by the time we hit the ground, we were safe and I thanked God profusely. This woman was killing me with her crazy ass stunts. "You're going to be the death of me Shea." I tell her. "Only in bed sweetie." She says. Oh my God she just… in the middle of all this.. she said that. I may have opened a can of worms with this one. "I've created a monster." I said quietly so Shea can't hear. "That you did. My dear sweet sister- in -law." Chey says. I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Welcome to the family Ash." She says. I groan, but it still makes me smile.

"Apparently I have missed something important." Liara says. "Only the awakening of Shea Shepard and her inappropriate comments." Chey replies. "So basically she woke up and is now very much like you." Liara counters. "Yep." Chey replies. "So now we have two dirty talking Shepards to contend with. How and when did this happen?" Liara asks, and I knew what was coming, I knew it and still I blushed twenty shades of red. " I'm surprised you didn't hear it." Chey says. Oh god I hope the whole ship didn't hear. "Hear what?" Liara asks innocently. I sigh her we go again. "Ask Ash. She has the inside status." I glare daggers at her as she catches up to Shea. "Hear what Ash?" she asks me. I sigh in resignation. "I hope the ship didn't hear it and it's just Chey being Chey. Shea and I umm.. consummated our relationship last night." I said. "Oh. OH!" she says and I can see a faint blush. "Did you and Tali?" I ask. She blushes deeper. "No, we just cuddled and took a nap together, though I did keep seeing it in my mind. We didn't hear anything." She says.

"According to Tali, your eyes were a bit black when you woke up. She also said she kept seeing some very naughty and arousing visions." Chey said. "Oh Goddess! Did I unintentionally meld with her. I need to apologize to her." Liara said panicking. "CHEY!" I shout at her. "That was not a very nice thing you did there." Shea scolds her. "I'm sorry, it was a distasteful joke. Tali really did have those dreams but your eyes were never black." Chey admits. Liara hits her with a warp which we knew wouldn't hurt her but it would get her point across. I see the very real guilt on Chey's face, she wraps Liara in a tight hug. "I'm sorry Liara. I wasn't thinking. Forgive me?" she asks and she is very sincere even I can tell. "I can, on one condition, you share with me your most embarrassing moment." She says. Chey nods, Liara's eyes go black and she laughs once she comes out of the meld. "You are forgiven." She says and now I'm curious to what she shared.

Chey looks at me, knowing I'm curious. "I showed her that time you caught Liana and me." She shares. "Really you didn't seem that embarrassed, you didn't even go soft." I reply. She smiles abashedly. "Liana put a ring on me, I couldn't go soft." She replies. "I didn't see that, wrong angle." I reply. "Alright everyone let's get our minds out of the gutter for now. We have an army of Geth, A madman, and Reaper to stop." Shea says. "Yes ma'am." We reply. I was thankful that sex talk would be on the back burner. I was close to telling Chey about my special times surrounding that event. I could never tell her. I would rather die then even mention how arousing that had been, and how I wished they had kept going that night. I was a bit of a voyeur. I really wish I had recorded it.

Shea

We spoke to Prothean VI named Vigil, and learned the conduit was smaller version of a mass relay that went straight to the Citadel and that the keepers were the ones who were supposed to set the signal off for the Reapers to come and open up the relay out of dark space. The Prothean scientists managed to alter that code, but Saren was planning on opening the relay for them. "Not on my watch he won't" I declared to myself. "So now we are going to drive the mako through a relay, and hope we don't get blown to smithereens in the process." Chey pointed out. "Lovely." Ash said sarcastically. The run to the relay was desperate and I had to plow through the Geth in the way. I managed to dodge the Colossus's attacks and hit the relay with 10 seconds to spare. We almost didn't make it out of the burning mako before it exploded. When we got far enough away to escape the blast we were immediately under siege by husks and a few geth.

It was not a fun sight when Sovereign touched down on the Citadel tower, it was equally nerve-wracking to have to walk the exterior of the tower and face off against all sorts of Krogans and Geth. The icing on the cake was the Geth dropship and turrets we had to blast through, but we made it to the inside of the tower. I thought Chey would be disappointed that she didn't get to kill Saren, but she wasn't she actually felt bad for him in a way. He had no choice just as Benezia had no choice, and the people at Zhu's hope. I tried to get him to fight with us, but he shot himself knowing it was too late for him. "Make sure he's dead." I order my squad. I watch them jump down and all three of them add a bullet to his body. I was standing at the Citadel control panel when Joker hailed us. "The destiny ascension is asking for assistance. The council is on board. Should we deter and help or focus on Sovereign?" he asks. "God help me go and save their asses." I order and I pray I do not regret this decision. The tower is hit by an Alliance ship which causes me to end up on the bottom with the others and Saren's body. It glows red and starts to convulse. "Oh Fuck! Get to cover now!" I order as rocket nearly misses us.

"You know it would be really great if that which was dead would stay fucking dead!" Chey says. I couldn't help but agree. We had a few close calls, but we managed to take him down and we watched as Saren's Reaper controlled corpse convulses and burns to ash. "And stay fucking dead!" Chey says. It still amazed me that my sister who essentially faced a thresher maw alone and on foot and everything else we've come across but reanimated corpses freak her out the most. She has had this fear of zombie like things since she watched that old vid "Night of the Living Dead" when she was 6. We watched as Sovereign was shot down, the massive ship leaning and falling pieces of it everywhere. I watched as piece came flying towards us. "You have got to be kidding me! Everyone down!" I ordered. I barely managed to miss that piece this time. I was pinned down but by not by the pillar that collapsed but by Chey who had covered me her shields and tech armor taking the brunt of the weight. "Chey. Chey! Are you alright?" I ask concerned her eyes are closed, and it freaks me out until I feel her shift and see her eyes open. "You ok?" I ask again. "Peachy." She replies we use both of our strength to free us from the column.

I hear some voices and debris shuffling. I support Chey as she walks unsteadily we climb over the mountain of debris and I smile in relief Ash and Liara are safe. Hurt a bit, but alive. As soon as a soldier grabs Chey, I run to Ash and pull her to me and kiss her. She grins and kisses me back. "Hey Skipper, had me worried there for a minute." She said. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you later with wine and poetry." I said. "Be still my heart, you're such a Casanova." She says. "I'm your Casanova though." I said. She smiles. "Don't go forgetting that either." She says possessively. I shiver pleasantly.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N The second section of this final chapter, switches to Chey's view point. Why? For those who have played the Mass Effect awesomeness you know what happens in between ME1 and ME2 at least game wise. I had thought about doing an in between, but I honestly am not sure how to even begin that, so I probably won't. Thank you everyone who read my amateur and probably not so good story.**

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Ashley

"Mmmm…tempting, throw in some dinner and extended cuddles and you got yourself a deal." I reply. I should care that we aren't alone, but I just don't the woman I love is alive and whole. The others can stare and just fuck off. A few hours later after we have been all patched up, the Citadel council approaches us. I think they may be in for a tongue lashing if they say the wrong thing to Shea, she's about had it with them. "Commander. Thank you for our lives." The Turian councilor says. "Thank Tevos. I will tell you this right now had either of you been on any other ship but hers I would have let you burn. You two have done nothing but berate me, question my every fucking move and been rude as hell to me. You two were the most outspoken about me and besides a bit of information here and there have done nothing, and I mean nothing to help me. I can understand Tevos may not have been able to help us more with you two making your anti-human feelings clear. But because of you two and Udina we almost lost our galaxy." She said. They look away ashamed.

"We are sorry, we should have supported you more and respected your decisions. We were all under a lot of pressure. I am well aware of your distaste for politics but without them this issue could have been worse, one war at a time Commander." The Salarian said. "I am very sorry as well Commander." The Turian said. "Very well, I accept both of your apologies and offer one of my own. I do not understand politics and it just felt like you were intentionally trying stalwart my mission. So I apologize for losing it with you all those times." She said. "At last, we can agree on something. Humanity has earned the right to represented on the council, hopefully we can all reach a better understanding, and we would be willing to take in great consideration anyone who you would think would be a great councilor." Tevos says. The two most obvious choices being Udina and Anderson. Udina knows politics well, but he is overly ambitious. We need someone who doesn't salivate at the prospect of councilor.

Shea is on the same thought process as me. "I would suggest Captain David Anderson." She said. "Anderson is a soldier not a politician." Udina argues. "Which is exactly what we need for what's to come. I need someone who will believe and do what is right not what gives him the most gain. That is why I would choose him, besides without his aid our mission would have failed." She said. I'm proud of her, though I would hit Udina. I've never had any love for him. I don't think I would ever. Nor would I ever respect him completely. I always felt like I needed to be on alert around him, like he was secretly plotting and scheming behind our backs. I wasn't paying attention to the rest of the conversation. I just wanted to find a nice, quiet, place to relax with Shea. Maybe make more sweet, sensual, and slow love to her. Then a nice bit of naked snuggles, actually naked snuggles sounds like a perfect way to end our day.

Two months. Two months was all we got after Saren to explore us, to have a couple dates like a normal couple. I was going to ask her to marry me when the fucking council sent us out again. Three Alliance ships had gone missing and so they sent us to investigate and clear out pockets of Geth. I had made her a romantic dinner. The ring was in the pocket of my pants, then the alarms went off.

We dressed in our armor. Joker wouldn't leave, Shea ordered me to go. She would get Joker, but there was another explosion and I watched her die suffocating her oxygen regulator had been sliced open by debris, such a small knick and yet it killed a giant of woman. Our hero, my love, my future wife died, because of a fucking damaged regulator. She died because Joker was to fucking stubborn to get the fuck up and get to the escape pods without Shea to make him. When our pods landed I sought out Joker and I punched him in the face and kicked him in the ribs. "It's your fucking fault she died!" I scream.

Chey

Ash looks like she wants to kick Joker again. I have to stop, her she could kill him. "Ash. Don't. it's not his fault it's the fault of the ship that attacked us." I said. "If he would have gotten to his pod as soon as he saw the Normandy couldn't be saved, she'd still be alive. He fucking killed your sister, do you even care!" She screeches at me. I punch her hard enough to make her head spin. "How dare you! Of course I fucking care! But you and her both taught me to lay blame where it lies. Joker couldn't have known that the Normandy was done for. That ship and whoever was controlling it is responsible. Would Shea want you to blame him, would she want you to beat him to death. Shea loved your gentle heart, where is that heart now?" I ask. "It died the second she stopped drawing breath. Shea is my heart, and now she's gone." I feel her anguish, guilt, and unimaginable pain settle. Ashley feels guilty because of how badly she hurt Joker, anguish because Shea was no longer with her and the pain. I do not think she ever thought anything could hurt this much. I hated that Ash would be going through what I did with Liana. I promised myself and Shea that I would be with her and help her through this, like she had for me.

She offers a quick apology to Joker and stalks off to be alone. Quietly I approach her and I hear the five words that break my heart more. "I will never love again." A vow on the wind and there would be a hell of storm coming our way.

The End


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